"Cash machine manufacturer NCR has announced plans to cut 650 jobs at its plant in Dundee."
Source: BBC NEWS
Hmm, I wonder why they cut so many jobs
"The firm said ATM production would continue at its plant in Budapest, opened just over a year ago, and at factories in Beijing and India."
Ah right, they found cheap labour abroad. Hold on though, what did NCR say when they opened the plant in Budapest?
"NCR said in 2005 that the Hungary operation would 'complement' the Dundee factory."
Okay so it just semantics really, when NCR say "complement" what they mean is replace because it's cheaper. Still, not to worry, our Scottish politicians are on the job.
"First Minister Jack McConnell said the Scottish Executive would look closely at the situation."
Look closely? Well that's a relief, for a moment there I thought they weren't going to do anything.
The mincer McConnell went on to say
"I and fellow ministers take this matter seriously."
Well that's good, 'cos the rest of us thought it was a huge joke. So, why do NCR say they closed the plant?
"Despite our efforts to take cost out of our operations, it costs us more money to build ATMs on a unit-by-unit basis in Dundee than in any of our other manufacturing plants."
Indeed, but do you know why? No? Well I'll tell you, it's because Dundee have the most experienced staff, and when there's a snafu anywhere on the planet, who gets sent? That's right, engineers from Dundee; and who bears the cost of that? The plant that has the problem? No, Dundee, because that's where the staff are from. Doh! Now answer this question. Once all the highly experienced engineers from Dundee melt away, like snow in June, the next time there's a snafu, who ya gonna call...?